Everything's Not Lost
by horseaholic
Summary: Following a terrible car accident, Lu, Andy, and the rest of the Rittenhouse team work together to help a family heal in every way. Season 3ish. Somewhat AU. No slash. Rated T just to be safe. Please R&R! Chapter 4 is finally up. ABANDONED until further notice, until I have time to finish the last chapter, really.
1. Chapter 1

_Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own anything, except Jamie and Lucas Larson and the plotline, some of which is based on a true story from five years ago. Although I wish I owned Peter and Dylan... if I did... XD_

_Anyway, hi all. OK, so it's been forever since I last wrote a "Strong Medicine" story. Seriously, like six years. Albeit, my old stories were not that good, I'm not fond of them and I've taken them down, because they were written when I was in high school (I'm four months away from graduating college now), so they won't be re-posted._

_Since it's been so long between this story and my last story and my last viewing of the show (February 5, 2006... an unforgettable day!), not everything may be accurate, but please be constructive in your criticism and please don't be too hard on me. My writing style has changed a lot since last time, so I think this time around will be better. I miss the show dearly, but if I have any mess-ups in the story (and feel free to correct me nicely, if needed), that's my excuse._

_This story is not finished, but I've been trying to finish it since I started it. I have an ending in mind, but I'm extremely stuck in the middle. If any of you wouldn't mind being my beta, in order to help me finish the story, that would be GREATLY appreciated. I NEED one! Let me know in a review and we'll get in touch, OK? Thanks. :)_

_All right, so on with the story. It's set in season 3, because I wanted Andy to be Lu's main partner, instead of Dylan, as the two women had better chemistry. Plus, I've missed Andy too much not to include her in the story. Other normal show characters that will appear are Lu, Lana, Peter, Kayla, and maybe a tiny bit of Robert. OK, I guess that's all for now. Enjoy the story. :)_

**Everything's Not Lost**

**Chapter 1**

* * *

><p>December 16, 2003 seemed like it was going to be a typical day for Doctor Lu Delgado and the rest of the Rittenhouse team. It was a typical winter day and flu season was on. She had delivered three babies, seen countless grandmothers with colds and the flu who claimed they were dying, dealt with several kids who had come in with various cuts, scrapes, and bruises, and treated a little girl who had fallen playing outside on an ice patch and hit her head on the ice, causing a mild, no-loss-of-consciousness concussion.<p>

The mothers and babies were in their private rooms with their fathers, having had no complications during labor and delivery. She'd written out several prescriptions for chicken soup, cold medicine, and bed rest for the grandmothers. Only one of the cuts and scrapes needed stitches, the rest easily treatable with antiseptic ointments and Band-Aids. And Rosie was being kept overnight for observation, but since she was just enduring a headache and was talking and felt overall well, Lu felt confident she would be cleared to be discharged and go home tomorrow.

It was five p.m. and Lu was just about ready to leave and go home to Jonas and Marc.

But Lu quickly discovered she was not going home anytime soon today.

Her pager went off and she turned it off. Trauma was paging her.

Lu pulled on a fresh pair of latex gloves and ran down to the emergency room. She was soon joined by Doctor Andy Campbell.

"So much for getting out easy today, huh?" she asked.

Lu made a disapproving noise. She and Andy met the paramedics at the emergency entrance, as a trauma patient came rolling in on a gurney.

"What happened?" she asked one of them.

"Single roll-over, hit black ice at seventy-five miles per hour, lost control and skidded into the ditch, rolled three times, both air bags blew," the paramedic said, as he and another male paramedic wheeled the gurney over to a bay. "Caucasian female, 28, alert and responsive, seven months pregnant, was belted in, lacerations on both forearms, laceration to the chin, bruises in abdomen and left shoulder areas, and closed fractured right tibia, needs to be reduced." The paramedic looked over at Lu. "Her husband's worse, he's coming in behind us."

"I'll handle him, you stay with her," Andy said to Lu. Andy hurried away to attend to the woman's husband, who was being brought in via a second ambulance.

Lu, meanwhile, turned her attention back to the woman, who was obviously alert and conscious, because she was crying. Lu spoke calmly to her.

"My name is Doctor Delgado, but you can call me Lu, OK?" she said. "Do you know what happened?" The woman, who still was crying too hard to speak, nodded. "Your car went off the road into the ditch and you and your husband have been injured, but we're gonna take care of you, OK?" The woman nodded again and Lu looked up at the paramedics. "On my count, one, two, and—"

They transferred the woman to a bay, as her husband was wheeled past them, not stopping at a bay. Lu overheard one of the paramedics briefing Andy, while a second paramedic breathed for the husband with a bag.

"Caucasian male, unconscious and unresponsive, no pulse and BP zero at the scene; was not belted in, thrown through the front windshield, driver's side, even with the air bag, and bounced on the pavement for 150 feet; fractured pelvis, fractured right humerus, punctured lung, possible other internal injuries. We need to get a chest tube in him now. Get him into x-ray and get an MRI. Prep an O.R., STAT."

Lu closed her eyes for the briefest moment and sighed. The husband was in really bad shape; the woman, on the other hand, once her fracture was reduced, would have it x-rayed, set, and x-rayed again afterward, to make sure the break had been set properly and could begin healing in a cast for several weeks.

More so than the broken leg, however, Lu was concerned about the baby, that the baby could go into distress from the crash, or the mother could even possibly go into pre-term labor. She was several weeks away from full-term, risking the baby's health from prematurity.

"I want a fetal monitor over here, STAT!" Lu ordered. One was quickly brought over and placed around the mother's belly. "What's your name?" Lu asked the mother.

"Jamie," she replied, looking around. "Jamie Larson. Where is my husband? Is he OK?'

"Jamie. Jamie, listen to me," Lu said. "Jamie." Jamie looked up at her, terrified. "You and your husband have been involved in a severe car accident. You are lucky and only have a broken leg. I need to reduce the fracture. It's going to hurt for a few seconds, but then it will be over and we can get you up to x-ray it and cast it, if the x-rays show you don't need surgery, OK?"

Jamie nodded tearfully and whimpered. Lu placed her hands on Jamie's leg, felt for the fracture and quickly determined how she was going to set the bone. She made her decision, then thrust down, hard and fast, on Jamie's leg. She heard a loud snapping noise. Jamie yelled in pain, but Lu knew she had been successful, because there was no longer a pronounced bump, although Jamie's leg remained very swollen and bruised.

"What about my baby, Lu?" Jamie asked, after she had recovered from the pain of Lu setting her leg, as a nurse placed a fetal monitor around her belly. "Is my baby gonna be OK?"

"Her heart rate is accelerated from the shock, Jamie, but you being belted in probably saved her life and yours," Lu said. "We're going to take you up to x-ray now and make sure the fracture doesn't need surgery to be repaired, OK? Then they'll cast it and put you in a private room at least overnight, for observation. We'll monitor your baby closely, too, Jamie. It'll be OK."

"OK," Jamie said, "but what about Lucas?"

"I don't know anything about him right now, honey, but I will find out and get back to you, OK?" Lu said to her. "You're going to be fine, though, that's what matters right now."

Jamie nodded, then was wheeled away to x-ray. Lu immediately asked a nurse where Andy was.

"She's in surgery," she said. "O.R. three."

"Thank you," Lu said. She walked over to O.R. three and into the observation room. She didn't have much time to spend there; she knew the x-ray technician would perform the x-ray in the best possible way, so as not to cause harm to Jamie's baby. Then Lu would go down to x-ray and meet with the radiologist to determine whether Jamie needed surgery or not. If she did, Lu wanted to scrub in and perform the surgery herself. She wanted Jamie, and especially her husband, to be in the best of hands.

Lu listened to the surgeons talking through the surgery, and heard all the damage the husband had endured, was enduring still. Then her pager went off and she turned it off. It was a message from the x-ray technician, requesting she come down to x-ray. Lu knew Jamie's husband was in good hands with Andy, so she went down to x-ray and met with Jamie and the technician.

"Her leg is set fine, so we should cast it," said the technician.

"OK, thank you," Lu said. She looked down at Jamie. "See? Everything is gonna be fine."

"Where were you, Lu?" Jamie asked worriedly.

"I was actually looking in on your husband's surgery," Lu replied, as she wheeled Jamie to a private room.

"Oh, my God, how is he? I haven't even seen him," Jamie said, beginning to panic.

"Jamie, calm down," Lu said. "I know this is hard for you, but you've got to relax. You're going to make your blood pressure worse. Your husband is in good hands with my colleague, Andy. He's got a long road ahead of him, but they were able to bring him back, so he's in surgery now."

"'Bring him back?' What do you mean, 'bring him back?'" Jamie asked her, confused.

"At one point, at the scene, he had no pulse and his blood pressure was zero," Lu explained, remembering what the paramedic had said upon arrival. "They were able to revive him, luckily, and stabilize him enough to get him into surgery. I don't know the extent of his injuries, though, I'm sorry. But I can tell you, he is in the best of hands with Andy."

"OK, Lu. Thank you. I don't know what I would do without him," Jamie said, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"Jamie, don't think about that, OK? Your husband has a long recovery ahead of him, but he's gonna make it. You have to believe that," Lu said firmly.

"I'm trying, Lu," Jamie said, wiping her eyes, "really."

"Good," Lu said. "Let's get you settled, shall we? I'm at least keeping you overnight for observation."

"OK," Jamie said. Lu helped her climb clumsily from the wheelchair to the hospital bed. "Thank you, Lu."

"No problem," Lu said. "I'm happy to help, or I wouldn't be in this field. Here's a remote for the TV and a call button, if you need anything."

"Are you going home?" Jamie asked her.

"Probably pretty late tonight," Lu said, sitting down on the edge of Jamie's bed. "What's your husband's name? I might have missed it with everything that happened."

"Lucas," Jamie replied. "He's 29. We got married four years ago."

Lu nodded. "Just wondering. I'll have Andy come by and let you know how his surgery went, and how he's doing, OK? But I'm pretty sure he's going to be in ICU for quite a while. You can see him for brief periods every day, though."

"OK," Jamie said. "Thank you, Lu."

Lu patted Jamie's hand briefly before leaving the room.

* * *

><p>Andy came to Lu's office, later that night.<p>

"Lucas is stable. We should give Jamie the news," said Andy.

"Together," said Lu.

Andy nodded, then the two women went to Jamie's room.

Jamie's eyes were closed when they arrived, but she opened them and looked at Lu and Andy when they knocked and walked into the room.

"Hey," she said sleepily. "You're still here?"

"Yeah," Lu said, "how are you feeling?"

"Tired. None of your nurses will leave me alone long enough to let me actually sleep. If you'd let a patient _sleep_, they'd get better faster," Jamie pointed out.

Lu smiled. Jamie had a valid point.

Jamie looked at Andy. "You're my husband's doctor, aren't you?"

"Yes," Andy said. "I'm Doctor Andy Campbell."

"Is Lucas OK?" Jamie asked. She used her remote to adjust her bed height higher.

"Mrs. Larson, I—" Andy began, but Jamie cut her off.

"Please, it's Jamie."

"All right, Jamie, I'm not going to lie," Andy said, "your husband's condition is currently critical. He's lucky he survived tonight. His chances will improve if he survives these next 24 hours. We will be monitoring him very closely."

With every sentence, Jamie's tears increased. "How badly is he hurt?" she asked.

"His pelvis was shattered into four pieces, from when he bounced on the pavement, but they were broken cleanly enough that they set naturally well and can heal without surgery," Andy said. "His fractured arm did require surgery and he now has a rod and two pins and four screws placed in it to hold it together. The pins and screws will come out in several weeks, the rod won't. It will become part of the bone and he has a scar that he will carry the rest of his life. His bladder burst upon impact, but was repaired."

Andy paused for a moment and glanced at Lu, then turned her attention back to Jamie.

"But he is also in a non-medically-induced coma and is on a ventilator to help him breathe."

"How do you know he's in the coma? What does that mean, for him?" Jamie asked.

"We know because he is not responding to pain or light stimuli, and is not having sleep-wake cycles. The longer he is in the coma, the less his chances of survival. And he's currently unable to breathe on his own, which may mean possible brain damage," Andy said.

Jamie put her face in her hands in despair.

"We won't know this until he comes out of the coma. But I have seen worse cases, even non-car accidents, recover fully."

"That helps," Jamie said.

Andy nodded. She understood her situation. Doctors sometimes said they felt confident in a patient surviving, only to lose them later. It was in the nature of medicine that you are going to make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes cost lives. That's what malpractice insurance was for. If you couldn't take that, you needed to find a different profession.

"We've done all we can for now, so until your husband wakes up, all we can do is monitor him closely and make sure nothing worse happens," Andy said.

"You mean, make sure he doesn't die," Jamie said.

Andy nodded. "You can visit him for brief periods every day, but while he's still in the ICU, it will only be about 10 to 20 minutes, depending on how he is doing. For now, though, it's just a waiting game."

Jamie nodded. "Thank you, Doctor Campbell," she said.

Then, having nothing more to say to her, Andy glanced at Lu again, then left the room.

Lu put a consoling hand over Jamie's. "It'll be OK," she said.

Jamie nodded, then closed her eyes and did not open them again. Lu took this to be a sign saying she wanted to be alone. Lu got up from the bed, walked out of the room, and left Jamie to her thoughts.

* * *

><p><em>Just in case any of you are wondering, the car crash is based on the true story of a classmate of mine who was ejected at 80+ miles an hour in early November, 2005. She was a sophomore in high school and to this day, I still remember what it was like, wondering if she would live or die in the hospital or be paralyzed or not or what. Long story short, despite multiple critical complications, she lived, recovered fully, and five years later, is married and has an adorable baby boy who is now 14 months old. It's a happily-ever-after story for sure.<em>

_Please review! And definitely let me know if any of you are interested in beta-reading for me, mostly to bounce ideas around. Thanks. I'll post chapter 2 up as soon as possible._

_Renthead07_


	2. Chapter 2

_A tragedy will occur in this chapter. It's not terribly intense, but just warning you. Here's chapter 2. Enjoy._

**Chapter 2**

* * *

><p>The next day, Lu was at Rittenhouse by 6:30 a.m. to get ready for her Wednesday morning chat room. She had started chat room, having it only Mondays, but it had become so popular, she had decided to hold it three days a week, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. She pulled her lab coat over her work clothes and checked the time. It was only 6:40. She still had twenty minutes to check on Jamie and the baby before chat room.<p>

Lu went up to room 416 and knocked before she entered.

"Hey, good morning," she said to Jamie, as she came in the room and visually gave Jamie a quick once-over.

"Hi," Jamie said softly. Her eyes were red-rimmed and blood-shot, indicating she had been crying and not slept much. "You're here really early."

"Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, I have what's called chat room with a group of ladies at seven a.m.," Lu said.

"What do you talk about?" Jamie asked.

"Pretty much anything— kids, men, menstrual cycles, PMS, menopause, jobs, other medical things, all sorts of stuff," Lu said. "When you're better, you should come."

"OK, I'll keep that in mind," Jamie said. She put a hand on her stomach and patted it fondly. "Sooner or later, anyway, I'm gonna be up at all hours. Who says I can't make a seven a.m. chat room?"

Lu smiled, encouraged by Jamie's positive attitude. "But I wanted to check on you first, before I went," she said. "Pulse is good, BP is good, so I'd say you're resting pretty comfortably."

"Yeah, I'm all right," Jamie said. "I didn't sleep well, though."

"No, the true rest comes when you go home from the hospital and can sleep whenever you want to," Lu said. "Is the baby moving OK and everything?"

"Yeah, really well; that's part of the reason why I didn't sleep well, I think," Jamie said, smiling wearily.

"OK, well, movement is good and your baby's vital signs look good, too, so don't worry about that," Lu said.

She checked her watch. She had five minutes.

"I have to go now. I'll check on you again before your release this afternoon."

"All right. My sister, Abby, is coming to pick me up. She'll be here from New York City soon," Jamie said. "Bye, Lu."

Lu smiled encouragingly at her, then left and went to her chat room.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Andy met up with Lu, while they were on lunch break.<p>

"Lu," she said, as she walked through the snack bar line with her, "we need to talk to Jamie. There's been an update on her husband's condition. Since she's getting released soon, I figured she should get it beforehand."

"Oh?" Lu said. "Good or bad?"

"Bad," Andy said. "He's running a fever, which most likely means he has an infection, and he has pulmonary embolisms. I've given him steroids and antibiotics for the infection and blood thinners for the blood clots, but if those don't solve it, we'll have to think of something else, maybe more surgery."

Andy didn't add the "or" that remained unspoken between them. Unless the infection and pulmonary embolisms were reversed, Lucas could die.

"We have the pressure cuff on his calf, but the clots still developed in his lungs, probably from the puncture, even though it's fixed."

Lu closed her eyes and sighed. Lucas' condition was not getting any better. If he didn't improve in the next day or so, Lu and Andy would have to consider asking Jamie for consent to shut off the life support.

Lu knew there was no way Jamie was going to consent. She loved her husband too much and was too loyal to him.

"What do we do?" she asked, thinking about Jamie.

"Just tell her," Andy said reluctantly.

Lu nodded and sighed. She wasn't looking forward to giving Jamie the bad news.

Then her pager went off. Chills ran down her spine as she saw the room number was Jamie's room. She picked up speed and ran to Jamie's room. Jamie's sister, Abby, was standing next to Jamie's bed, holding her panicked sister's hand.

Within seconds upon arriving to Jamie's room, Lu saw things were even worse than she had feared. Alarm bells were going on from machines inside the room— machines, she quickly realized, that were not for Jamie, but for the baby.

"Jamie, what happened?" Lu asked, as she rushed in with Andy.

"Lu, the baby was moving a lot until about an hour ago, but then she just stopped moving," Jamie cried in a panic. "I thought she had just gone to sleep, so I didn't stress out about it, you know? But now these monitors for the baby are going off. What's wrong, Lu?"

"Your baby might be in distress," Lu said. She yelled over her shoulder, "I need an ultrasound machine in here, STAT!"

"Distress? Why would the baby be going into distress now? What did I do?" Jamie asked, alarmed.

"Nothing," Lu said. "Most likely, it is delayed trauma from the accident, or something has gone wrong that had nothing to do with you. Something we didn't see before."

The ultrasound machine arrived and Lu quickly put gel on Jamie's belly and ran the tool around. Her expression became more concerned by the second.

"What? What is it? What's wrong?" Jamie asked, terrified at Lu's silence.

"Jamie, I..." Lu began.

But she couldn't bring herself to say it. It would be too much for Jamie to bear.

"What, Lu? What's wrong with my baby?" Jamie demanded, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Jamie... I'm not hearing or seeing a heartbeat," Lu said slowly.

"What? What are you talking about?" Jamie asked, beginning to cry, as her sister hugged her as close as she could. "Are you sure?"

"Jamie, I'm so sorry," Lu said softly. "You're in between ultrasounds. It must have happened very recently, within the past 24 hours. Your baby's umbilical cord is wrapped several times around its neck, cutting off its oxygen supply. I'm not hearing or seeing a heartbeat. You're not normally my patient; but even if you were, I wouldn't have missed something like this."

"Oh, my God," Jamie cried.

She put her head in her hands and cried bitterly for a few moments. When her grief quieted, she looked up at Lu, who had not moved or taken her eyes off Jamie for a second.

"Now what?" Jamie asked.

"Well, you need to make a decision," Lu said slowly. "We can wait up to two weeks, to see if you go into labor naturally. But you're only seven months along. I wouldn't count on it. If you don't go into labor naturally, once you get past the two weeks with your baby still inside you like this, we'd have to perform a Cesarean section, or you could develop blood clotting problems."

"What? My baby is a danger to me now?" Jamie asked, through her tears.

"Not yet," Lu said. "Do you want to wait?"

Jamie shook her head. "No, I don't want to wait," she said. Lu's eyebrows rose. "Well, the sooner I deliver, the sooner we'll know what went wrong, right?"

Lu nodded. "Right," she said, although she felt extremely uneasy about the decision either way. It was all very traumatizing for Jamie, both that the baby had died and that she still carried the dead baby inside her. But it was Jamie's decision and Lu could do, would do, nothing to convince her otherwise. "You're sure about this? A vaginal birth is best, since until today, there have been no complications. A Cesarean opens doors for more complications to arise."

"I'm sure," Jamie said, nodding.

Lu looked at Andy and shook her head, telling her to hold off on the update about Jamie's husband. Andy nodded, understanding. Lucas was still stable, despite the fever and blood clots, so they could wait a few more hours before telling Jamie about the new complications.

"OK, I'll bring the anesthesiologist in to administer the epidural, and our midwife/nurse will administer the Pitocin to induce your contractions," Lu said, giving the ultrasound machine back to the nurse to clean and put away, and going toward the door.

"No, I don't want an epidural," Jamie said, shaking her head.

Lu turned around. "Are you sure?" she asked. Even Abby looked surprised. "It would make you a lot more comfortable."

Jamie nodded. "No, I want to be able to feel what's going on. I don't want to not be able to feel anything. Where are you gonna be?" she asked.

"I'll be there with you," Lu assured her.

"OK. Thank you, Lu," Jamie said, leaning hard on her sister for support.

Lu smiled halfheartedly, then left to go find Peter, not looking forward to the next 24 hours, for either Jamie or the Rittenhouse team.

Lu found Peter talking to Lana at the front desk; obviously, he was in between patients or deliveries.

"Peter, I need you for a few hours, if you haven't got patients waiting," Lu said.

"Sure, Lu, what's up?" Peter asked.

"I need you to deliver the baby of a 28-year-old patient. She's seven months pregnant and was involved today in a single roll-over car accident. It turns out her baby just died from the umbilical cord being wrapped around the neck and trauma from the wreck."

As Lu completed this sentence, she and Peter arrived at Kayla's office. Kayla had just walked out and overheard the last part of the conversation. She looked very grave at the news.

Lu looked at Kayla. "Kayla, it would be great if you could give the patient moral support. Peter needs to deliver her baby that just died. It is gonna be a very tough several hours, since we have to turn the baby and induce. She is badly traumatized, which is expected. But she didn't want to wait two weeks, to see if she'd go into labor naturally."

Kayla nodded, agreeing. "Where is she?" she asked.

"Room 10," Lu said. "We should move her to Labor and Delivery and get her as comfortable as we can. This is already tough enough for her; first her husband, now the baby."

"What happened to her husband?" Peter and Kayla asked.

"Talk to Andy about that; he's not my patient," Lu said.

True, Lu did know about Lucas' condition, but was not at liberty to say, since he was not her patient and doctor-patient confidentiality laws still applied.

Peter and Kayla nodded and went to Jamie's room with Lu. Peter pushed a wheelchair ahead of him. Jamie looked at the wheelchair warily.

"We have to move you up to Labor and Delivery on the fourth floor, Jamie," Lu said gently. "Especially if there are more complications, it's best that you're up there, so you can receive the best care. We have to try to turn the baby before starting your induction, too."

Jamie nodded numbly. "OK," she said.

They moved Jamie up to the Labor and Delivery floor and got her situated on a delivery bed.

"You're a nurse?" Jamie asked, as Peter walked into the room, dressed in scrubs, instead of a white lab coat.

"And a midwife," Peter said, nodding and smiling at her.

"Oh my, you're _so_... _handsome_..." Jamie said weakly, before she could stop herself. Then she blushed scarlet and covered her mouth with both hands, as Peter glanced, grinning, at Kayla, who had a smirk on her face. Jamie quickly realized they were a couple. "Oh no, I'm so sorry!" Jamie said, embarrassed.

Peter laughed. "Don't worry," he said, "I get that all the time."

"I'm sorry," Jamie said sincerely to Kayla.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it," Kayla said, smiling reassuringly.

"OK, Jamie, there's going to be a lot of pressure for a few seconds from me turning the baby. It might hurt a little," Peter said. "I'm going to try and turn the baby so she will be facing head-down for the induction, OK? You're already high-risk with the fetal death, so we are not going to even think about attempting a breech delivery."

Jamie nodded.

Peter, who was a very skilled midwife, was able to successfully turn the baby into the proper position by placing pressure on Jamie's abdomen and causing the baby to somersault into the facing-down position.

Jamie gasped, surprised.

"How are you doing, Jamie?" Peter asked her, immediately after finishing turning the baby.

"I'm fine," Jamie said.

Peter smiled.

* * *

><p>With the help of the I.V. of Pitocin to jump-start the contractions, Jamie had a fast labor; however, it was not easy for her. The contractions quickly progressed in intensity and frequency after her water broke when she was at five centimeters dilated, and Jamie was getting tired and the pain was becoming more difficult to bear. It seemed like she was regretting her decision not to have an epidural, but in only four hours, she was fully effaced and dilated and ready to push. It was too late for an epidural and too late to turn back now.<p>

Peter moved to the end of the bed and positioned himself at her feet, to prepare to coach her pushing and catch the baby.

"OK, Jamie, you're fully effaced and dilated and ready to push now. When the next contraction comes, chin to your chest and bear down for 10 seconds, OK?" he said.

Jamie nodded. When the next contraction came, she bore down and pushed, screaming and crying.

"... eight, nine, ten, exhale," Peter said, and Jamie exhaled. "Good. Good, Jamie, now breathe in and push again."

Jamie inhaled and bore down and pushed and screamed a second time. Lu knew her screams were from both pain and grief.

"OK, Jamie, you're doing really well. Give me one more really good push and her head will be out, then another really good push and she will be here."

Jamie didn't say anything, but shook her head helplessly.

"Jamie, you have to," Abby encouraged her from her side. "I know this is really hard for you, but you have to. It's too late now, honey. There's no turning back. You gotta do this. It'll be OK. Push a few times and it will be over."

"Come on, Jamie, you can do this," Lu said encouragingly, from her other side. "Do it for Lucas. He wouldn't want you to give up, would he? Now, come on, push!" she commanded.

Jamie looked from Lu to Peter to Abby, and back to Lu again. Then, more tears streaming down her face, she nodded.

"OK, Jamie, when the next contraction comes, push as hard as you can," Peter instructed.

Jamie swallowed and nodded again. When the next contraction came, she bore down and pushed with all her might, crying out the entire time, Lu holding onto one hand and Abby holding onto the other.

"... eight, nine, ten, exhale," Peter said. "OK, the head is out. The cord is wrapped around the neck."

Peter gently undid the cord, which was wrapped three times around the baby's neck. Jamie lay back on the bed, sobbing, but neither Lu nor Abby ever released their hold on her hands.

"Jamie, she's beautiful. She's so beautiful," said Abby, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Peter gently worked the baby's shoulders free of the birth canal, with some gentler, silent pushes from Jamie, and her baby slid into the world.

"It's a little girl. Do you want to hold her?" Peter asked softly.

Not surprisingly, Jamie nodded tearfully. Peter handed her over to Jamie to hold, as though the birth had occurred under normal circumstances. After the cord stopped pulsating and turned white (no more blood flow), he cut it.

Jamie's lip quivered for a moment; then she broke down completely and cried, hard, into the newborn's soft skin, for her little girl, whose life had ended before it had even begun.

Lu, Kayla, and Peter could do nothing but watch and wish there was something they could do or say to help.

After Abby held the newborn for a few minutes, she handed the newborn back to Peter, who, as a courtesy to Jamie, dried the still, silent newborn off, weighed and measured her, and wrapped her in a blanket and gave her a cap to wear, all which would have been routine protocol under normal, uncomplicated circumstances.

Perhaps other hospitals might not have done this under the current circumstances, but Rittenhouse was different.

"Do you want to name her?" Peter asked, coming over with birth and death certificates on a clipboard. He glanced at the clock and wrote down the Time of Birth and Death in the proper spaces. "Take your time."

"I guess," Jamie said softly. After several moments of thinking, she said, "Chloe. Chloe Grace Larson. It's the name Lucas wanted for her." Her voice trailed off to a whisper. "Now it only seems right."

Peter nodded and put down the name on the death certificate.

"December 17, 2003, 3:57 p.m., five pounds even, 17 inches long," Peter said quietly.

"Take as much time as you need," Lu said quietly. She placed a remote and call button on Jamie's lap again. "Call us when you're ready."

"All right," Jamie said, although right now, she didn't feel ready for anything.

But she had only been holding Chloe for a few seconds, when she felt a strange wet, light-headed sensation.

"Uh, Lu," Jamie asked, embarrassed, "I think I wet the bed?"

"Don't worry about it," Lu said. "Here, let's get you up so I can get a nurse to change your sheets."

Jamie nodded vaguely. But when Lu went to help Jamie off the bed, all color drained from her face and she passed out cold and went limp in Lu's arms. Then Lu saw scarlet.

"She's having a postpartum hemorrhage!" Lu exclaimed. Alarm bells began to go off and Lu immediately took away the pillows Jamie had been propped up on and laid her and the bed down flat. "BP is dropping! Pulse is accelerating!" Then she began barking out orders. "I need packs and sponges, STAT! I need an IV of fluids and a liter of O-positive hung, wide open, STAT!"

Abby, panic clear on her face, pressed herself against the far wall, staying out of the way. Peter swiftly brought Lu packs and sponges, which Lu placed to try and stop the bleeding. Then he quickly hooked Jamie up to an IV of fluids and a bag of O-positive blood, to restore her fluids and replace the blood she had lost so quickly. Kayla placed an oxygen mask over Jamie's face, helping her to breathe easier.

But despite Lu's quick best efforts, she could not stop the bleeding.

"Abby," said Lu, as they wheeled Jamie, unconscious, down to an operating room, "since you're after Lucas on Jamie's next-of-kin, you need to make a decision for her. We can't stop the bleeding. We're going to have to perform a hysterectomy. Do you want us to freeze her eggs?"

Abby looked stunned at having to make such a decision with no warning.

"Y-yes," she said. "Do it."

Lu nodded, then looked at her patient and sent a silent prayer Heavenward for her struggling patient.

_Jamie, I can only hope things get better for you soon._

* * *

><p>A few hours later, the surgery was done and Jamie was stable. Though Lu was glad Jamie was doing better, she knew her difficult journey was far from over. First, the accident, then her and her husband's injuries, then the baby's death and the premature birth.<p>

Now Jamie was going to find out she could never again naturally have children.

Lu wasn't sure how much more bad news and pain Jamie could take.

Lu paused for a long moment, her fist a few inches from making contact with the door, and allowed herself to gather her thoughts and figure out how she was going to break the terrible news. She wondered when Jamie's road to recovery was going to start going uphill, instead of down.

After a few moments, she took a deep breath, knocked and entered the room. Abby sat in a chair next to Jamie's bed, reading a book.

Jamie was sleeping, still exhausted from the surgery. Abby slipped out into the hallway to talk to Lu for a moment.

"Lu, I wanted to ask you something," said Abby. Lu nodded. "Is there any way we could keep freezing Jamie's eggs a secret for now? I mean, she'll have to deal with losing Chloe and the hemorrhage and hysterectomy as it is. I just think it'd maybe be a nice surprise, in time."

Lu considered this for a moment. Part of her agreed with Abby's noble intentions; another part of her thought it sounded like a really bad idea, which carried a lot of high risk on her part.

"Jamie might be really angry at you for keeping it a secret, Abby," Lu warned her. "And legally, there's no way in hell I can do it without her consent. I'd be in the shit if the medical board found out, and that's just a start. I'd lose my job, I'd lose my license!"

"I know, Lu, but until it's too late, no one but you and I will know. As for Jamie, I'll deal with it. Just let her be surprised, OK? We'll do the procedure, then tell her. I mean, if she was your sister, would you do it?" Abby asked.

Lu nodded. "Yes, I would."

"Then, please, do this, if not for me, for her."

Lu sighed. "Alright."

She entered the room and Jamie opened her eyes.

"Lu?" she asked wearily. She looked around, confused, and ran her hands over her belly. "What happened? Where's my baby?"

Lu pulled up a chair next to her bed. "You had the baby, honey, but after Peter delivered the placenta, you suffered a postpartum hemorrhage," she explained. "We had a difficult time stopping the bleeding. We had to perform a hysterectomy."

Silence. Then tears welled up in Jamie's eyes and she dissolved into despair.

"I'm so sorry," Lu whispered. "You were losing blood too quickly. It was all we could do to save your life."

After a few minutes, Jamie's sobs quieted and she looked at Lu.

"Let us know if there's anything we can do for you," Lu said. "Don't be afraid to press your call button if you need us for something."

Jamie nodded, then took a shaky breath. "Thank you."

Lu nodded, then left the room, hoping she had made the right decision.


	3. Chapter 3

_Here is chapter 3._

**Chapter 3**

* * *

><p>The next day, December 18, Jamie was feeling alright and asked if she could see Lucas. Lu tried to argue with her, but to no avail.<p>

"Jamie, you aren't Superwoman. You had a traumatic birth, followed by a postpartum hemorrhage, then an emergency hysterectomy! You need to _rest_," Lu had insisted.

"Lu, please let me see him," Jamie pleaded with her. "I haven't seen Lucas at all since I left the E.R. that night, with only my leg broken and he was fighting for his life. Please, I don't know whether he is alive or dead or in between. I need to at least hear about him."

With those words spoken, Lu didn't feel right saying no to her, so she compromised. She didn't know the update on Lucas' condition, not being his doctor; however, due to Jamie still resting and healing from her hemorrhage and the recent surgery, she could only see Lucas long enough for Andy to give her the update on his condition, which would take ten minutes or less.

"It's just how it has to be, with you still healing," Lu said. "If you do not sleep more, I _will _give you a sedative and force you to, whether you like it or not. You can see Lucas for a few minutes, but I'll be right by your side the whole time, in case you tear your stitches."

Threat taken, Jamie nodded, agreeing to the compromise. Lu carefully helped Jamie off the bed, watching her intently, but no complications arose this time. Lu pushed Jamie in her wheelchair to ICU room 10, where Lucas was. Before they went in, Lu insisted Jamie and Abby not panic and upset themselves, which would make things worse. Jamie promised to try her best.

Lu paged Andy to Lucas' room to give Jamie the update. Lucas had not yet been taken off the ventilator. Andy personally did not believe he would be able to breathe on his own until he regained consciousness, if he ever did.

"He is not showing signs of regaining consciousness or being able to breathe on his own, which can indicate severe brain damage from the accident," Andy said, as gently as she could. "And there's been a new development; he is running a fever and he has blood clots in his lungs."

Jamie's hand flew to her mouth. Abby held her other hand consolingly. "What can you do?" Jamie asked.

"We have him on broad-spectrum antibiotics for the infection, and if those don't work, we can try an ice bath to bring down the fever, among other things, but an ice bath won't take care of the infection," Andy said. "For the blood clots, we have him on blood thinners, which, if they don't work, will mean more surgery to remove them. But removing these doesn't mean there won't be more in the future."

Andy gave Jamie her most sympathetic look.

"I have to warn you, if his fever gets any higher, he may have a seizure. And we don't know where the infection is yet, making getting rid of it difficult."

Jamie nodded, sighed, and looked at Lucas. She instantly received a shock: Lucas' eyes had flown open.

"Doctor Campbell, look, his— his eyes!" she stammered, pointing.

Andy looked from Lucas, whose eyes had closed as quickly as they had opened, to Jamie.

"Unfortunately," she said, "random opening and closing of the eyes is common in comatose patients. It doesn't necessarily mean anything."

"What? How could it not mean anything? Are you sure?" Jamie asked.

Andy nodded.

"How do you know what's random and what's not?" Jamie asked.

"His vitals will rise closer to normal, then back to normal, and he will begin to move very slightly at first, only twitches or brief movements or hand-squeezing and such," Andy said. "Once he does truly wake, we'll do tests to determine if there has been any brain damage."

"OK," Jamie said. "But you said every day longer he remains in the coma, his chances of survival decrease?"

"I believe you have to have as much hope as you can, but still be able to prepare yourself," Andy said. "Not even doctors can predict most of the future."

Lu agreed with Andy. Jamie seemed convinced.

"When I get released, Lu, can I stay with him after?" Jamie asked.

"Yes, but until your release, I'm going to have nurses keep monitoring you, so they won't be any less annoying," Lu said firmly.

Jamie pursed her lips, then, threat taken, nodded. "Alright," she said.

"After your release, we'll get you a roll-away bed and put it in here with Lucas," Lu said. "It's unorthodox, but worth it."

"Thank you," Jamie said quietly.

Lu nodded. Jamie wheeled herself as close to Lucas' bed as she could, kissed him softly on the cheek, whispered that she loved him, and went back to her room.

* * *

><p>Three days later, Jamie was discharged from the hospital, having had no complications following her hysterectomy. She received good news about Lucas: his fever had broken from the high doses of antibiotics, meaning his infection was likely being taken care of. By the end of the day, Andy was more confident he would wake from the coma.<p>

Although she was wheelchair-bound, due to her broken leg, and supposed to be recovering for six more weeks at home, Jamie stubbornly never left Lucas' side. The hospital provided her with a roll-away bed to sleep on in the ICU, to be as close to Lucas as possible, as often as she could.

On Christmas Eve, Jamie had moved her roll-away bed right next to Lucas' bed and fallen asleep with her head lying on the edge of his bed. She hadn't slept well the past two days and had fallen asleep like that, almost immediately, exhausted.

She didn't hear the monitors beeping quietly, as Lucas' vital signs slowly returned to normal. She didn't feel his arm move until he gently grasped her hair, stroking it and running his fingers through it.

Jamie's head flew upright at the touch and she gasped, shocked.

"Oh, my God!" Jamie said breathlessly. She immediately reached over and pressed the nurse call button, as Lucas' eyes fluttered open. "He's awake," she said, when a nurse answered the call. Jamie's face broke into a smile of immense relief, the first time she had smiled in days, as she looked into the eyes of her husband. "Oh, my God, honey," Jamie said, crying tears of joy, "I'm so, so relieved." Jamie hugged Abby tightly, both women overjoyed.

A nurse came in, followed by Andy. When Lucas saw them, he tried to talk through the ventilator, but could not.

"Lucas, don't try to talk," Andy said immediately. "You're in a hospital, on a ventilator until you can breathe on your own. You can't talk through it; just blink once for 'yes' and twice for 'no', OK?"

Lucas blinked once. _OK._

Andy quickly examined Lucas' vitals; his pulse, blood pressure, pupils, etc.

"You're in Rittenhouse Women's Health Center, because you were in a serious car accident, do you understand?" Andy asked.

Lucas blinked once. _Yes._

"Follow this light with your eyes for me." Lucas followed the light. "Good. Do you remember anything from the accident?" Andy asked. "Don't try to tell me what. That's not necessary."

Lucas blinked twice. _No. _Andy sighed; she had been afraid of this. Lucas had suffered memory loss and had no recollection of the accident whatsoever.

"I'm gonna have you do some movements for me, OK?" Andy asked.

Lucas blinked once, and Andy had him do some small movements, to determine damage. He could move everything including the fingers of his broken right arm, a good sign.

"It means, while your pelvis and arm is broken, you still have minimal movement, and since your bones set naturally without surgery, you should be able to start therapy in about six weeks," Andy said.

Lucas sighed with relief and blinked once.

Andy performed a few more tests, including reflexes. Then she could tell Lucas was getting tired.

"We'll let you rest now," Andy said. "These first few days, if you are only awake at all for only a few minutes, it's normal. Coma patients never are fully awake instantly. You will be able to stay awake more comfortably for longer periods of time eventually, but don't overdo it."

Lucas blinked once. _OK._

"Thank you," Jamie said, relieved, smiling at Andy.

"You're welcome," Andy said. "Lucas, there is a notepad next to your left arm there; if you have any questions, you can write them down. Are you left-handed?"

Lucas blinked twice. _No._

"OK, then take your time. Have we answered all your questions so far?"

Lucas blinked once. _Yes._

"All right, good," Andy said.

"Thank you, Doctor Campbell," Jamie said again to him.

Andy nodded, then left the room.

Lucas looked from Jamie to the notepad. Jamie helped him get a pen in his hand and she held the notepad steady for him. It was a very slow, messy process, because he was weak and could not hold his arm up very well, but after several long moments, he had formed a legible sentence.

_Jamie, is everything OK?_

"Yeah, honey, why?" Jamie asked. "I'm just tired."

_You're not pregnant. You can't hide that. Did something happen?_

Jamie looked long and hard at Lucas, her blood running cold. This was the beginning of a conversation she had dreaded for days, but knew it had to come. She didn't want to upset Lucas and possibly cause further complications; yet she dared not hide something so serious like this from him, even though the news was going to tear them both apart.

"Lucas, I... I'm so sorry, honey... She... the baby... she..." Jamie began shakily, but she could barely form an audible sentence. Her throat was so tight, she could barely speak.

Lucas' eyes were wide with anticipation. Jamie knew he wanted to ask why she was holding back.

"Her cord was wrapped around her neck several times," Jamie stammered, looking up to attempt to prevent the tears from forming. "It cut off her oxygen supply. She... she stopped moving and I noticed, so I asked Lu, the doctor who treated me after the crash, and... She did an ultrasound and... She died... Since I was probably not far along enough that natural labor would possibly happen, we had no choice but to induce and deliver. Then I... I had a postpartum hemorrhage. I lost so much blood... they had to do an emergency hysterectomy. We can never have another baby..." Jamie looked down at Lucas, heartbroken. "Honey, I'm so sorry."

Lucas closed his eyes and broke down into tears against the ventilator. It was an alarming sound.

When his sobs quieted, he wrote, _Sweetie, it isn't your fault._

"I'm so sorry," Jamie repeated, crying.

_There was nothing you could have done. Nothing anyone could have done._

"Really?" Jamie asked. "How can you be so sure?"

Lucas took both her hands in his good hand, then let them rest on his bed sheets as he wrote.

_I just know. The baby's cord was wrapped around her neck. How could it be your fault?_

"I don't know," Jamie said, closing her eyes. "I could have jolted her while I exercised or slept in the wrong position or something."

Lucas shook his head slowly and carefully.

_If that could do it, my flipping the car would be the reason it happened. In my mind, it _is _the reason it happened._

Jamie shook her head forcefully. "No," she said firmly, "this was not your fault. It was an accident. You didn't create black ice."

_I was the one going 75 in the middle of winter; if you get to blame yourself, then so do I._

Jamie shook her head helplessly, unsure of what to say. "I don't know," she said softly.

Jamie felt herself losing control of her emotions, so she turned and fled the room in her wheelchair before she broke down completely. She heard Abby call after her, but ignored her sister. Jamie could barely see where she was going, until she collided with someone and stopped dead. She struggled in vain against the strong grasp.

"Whoa, whoa, Jamie, easy. Calm down," said a male voice.

Jamie stopped struggling, looked up and saw she had collided with Peter.

"Jamie," he said, "what on Earth is wrong? You shouldn't be alone. Does Lu know you're roaming the halls?"

"No, she doesn't. What does it matter? I'm no longer her patient. It's Lucas, Peter," Jamie sobbed. "He— he asked me about Chloe, and he started crying when I told him, and we both started blaming ourselves. I— I couldn't take it, so I left."

"Even though you are not her patient anymore, she still cares about you, Jamie. Why don't you go back to his bed and we can talk about this more there?" Peter asked her.

"All right," Jamie said.

Peter pushed Jamie in her wheelchair back to Lucas' ICU room. Lucas had stopped crying and looked confused as they came back in.

"So I found Jamie," Peter began, "and it sounds like you and she have some talking to do, Lucas."

Lucas blinked once. Jamie was silent.

"Jamie, I know you're upset," Peter said. "What is bothering you so much?"

"Everything," Jamie said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Jamie..." Peter said. "I know a lot has happened to you lately. Maybe you should just start from the beginning?"

"OK," Jamie said. Not sarcastically, she added, "So you're a shrink, too?"

"No," Peter said, "just a nurse willing to listen."

Jamie nodded. "I don't know how to say it. I don't blame Lucas at all. It was an accident. But I don't want to feel right now. It hurts too much. I feel like I've been torn to pieces inside and out. I'm not saying I'm hurting more or less than Lucas is, but..." she said, tears falling down her cheeks again. Her voice trailed off as her tears increased.

"Jamie, you lost the baby, you almost died yourself, and your husband nearly died as well and is now on a ventilator," Peter said. "You've gone through so much. You're allowed to feel like this."

Jamie shook her head helplessly. "I can't," she said again. "It hurts too much. I don't know what to do. It's all I can think about any second of the day, it and Lucas."

"That's understandable," Peter said. "But numbing the pain will only make it worse when you finally feel it."

Jamie nodded and more tears spilled out of her eyes.

"When do you think Lucas will be able to breathe independently again?" she asked. "Him not being able to breathe means brain damage, doesn't it?"

"I have no idea, Jamie," Peter said. "That's a question for Doctor Campbell. Nursing and midwifery are two entirely different branches of medicine than being a M.D."

Jamie sniffled and nodded. "All right," she said.

"Do you two have any more questions for me?" Peter asked.

"No," Jamie said. Lucas blinked twice.

"All right," Peter said. "Then I am going to go check on a few other patients. I'll be back later to check on you two again, to see if you've got any more questions for me."

"Thank you, Peter," Jamie said.

"You're welcome," Peter said, smiling encouragingly before he left the room.

Jamie turned back and looked at Lucas. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

After a few minutes, Lucas had written a response.

_Why are you sorry? We're both feeling very vulnerable and desperate right now. You're allowed to cry and feel this way, honey._

"I know, but... I ran out on you. I shouldn't have," Jamie said.

_You don't have to be strong all the time. Goodness knows I'm not._

"You just found out," Jamie said, looking down at him.

_Think that matters to me? You don't have to keep making excuses. You're stronger than you think, Jamie. You haven't left my side, except in your most desperate moment. I love you, honey._

"I love you, too," Jamie said, leaning over and kissing his cheek and caressing his cheek, "so much."

Lucas attempted to smile, but the ventilator made that impossible. But Jamie knew he was trying; she saw the corners of his eyes crinkle, which they always did when he smiled.

"Do you want to know what I named her?" Jamie asked him. Lucas blinked once. "I named her Chloe Grace, the name you wanted for her."

Lucas closed his eyes, which Jamie suspected was so he could hold back more tears. After a moment, he opened his eyes, tears streamed down his cheeks, and he wrote.

_Thank you._

Jamie nodded.

_You should sleep. You look exhausted._

"OK," Jamie said. "Don't be afraid to wake me if you need something."

_I will; you or a nurse. Sleep, babe, I'm not going anywhere. _Lucas winked at her with his one eye that was not black and blue. Jamie smiled.

_Goodnight, I love you._

"I love you, too," Jamie whispered. She kissed his cheek, then went over to her roll-away bed and collapsed on it. She was fast asleep within seconds.

* * *

><p><em>Please R&amp;R. Thanks.<em>


	4. Chapter 4

_See if you can catch the Owl City lyric reference. Here is chapter 4._

**Chapter 4**

* * *

><p>On Thursday of the following week, Christmas Day, Jamie woke early. Lucas was still sleeping. Jamie wasn't surprised. With the nurses checking up on him frequently and still recovering from the coma, he was often easily exhausted, and his sleeping periods were much longer than his waking periods. Jamie felt better with her feelings out in the open, but she didn't bring it up again, as she was still worried about stressing him out.<p>

Jamie yawned and sat up. She wheeled herself down to the cafeteria and got some herbal tea in a cup and an apple and banana to eat, and went back to Lucas' room to eat.

Lucas was making horrible gagging noises when Jamie entered the room.

"Nurse," Jamie said, slamming her hand down on the nurse call button as she began to panic, "nurse!" When a nurse answered the call, she said, "He can't breathe!"

Several seconds later, Andy hurried into the room. Then, to Jamie's shock, she began to take out the ventilator that was breathing for Lucas.

"What are you doing?" Jamie demanded, confused.

"Taking out the ventilator, because he's choking on it," Andy said quickly, not looking at Jamie as she said this, but concentrating on what she needed to do.

"What?" Jamie asked, confused.

But before she would answer her question, Andy finished taking the ventilator tube out of Lucas' mouth and throat. Then she turned and looked at Jamie.

"I took it out because choking on the ventilator is a side effect of being able to breathe on his own now," Andy said, smiling.

Jamie's mouth fell open. "What? Really?" she asked.

Andy nodded toward Lucas as she placed an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. Jamie watched Lucas take in the first few breaths he had taken on his own in days; wheezing, gasping, shaky breaths. But they were breaths, and they steadied and deepened as more time passed. Jamie smiled happily.

"Thank you, Doctor Campbell," Jamie said, sighing with relief. She put her hand on her chest. "For a second there, I didn't know what was going on. I panicked. Sorry."

"Not a problem, Jamie," Andy said, "and Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Jamie said, smiling.

After Lucas' breathing stabilized, Andy switched him from the mask to the nasal cannula. She also gave Lucas what looked a little like a breathalyzer contraption.

"Inhale on this until the bobber piece goes all the way up, then exhale until it goes all the way down. It's to ensure you get maximum lung capacity," she instructed. "You might get light-headed. If you do, just wait a few minutes before you start again."

Lucas nodded and began breathing into the mechanism.

"Do those breathing exercises once every hour, Lucas," Andy said. "Then we'll see how you're doing. Go easy on the talking, too. Talk for maybe ten minutes per hour, and if you're thirsty, call a nurse to get you ice chips to suck on. Since you've been in the coma, we need to restore your fluids gradually."

Jamie looked nervous, but Andy smiled encouragingly.

"Don't worry," she assured her, putting her hand on her shoulder, "we know what we're doing."

Jamie and Lucas nodded, then he took the mask away for a moment.

"OK," he said hoarsely. "Thank you."

Andy nodded, smiled, then left the room.

Jamie pulled a chair up next to Lucas' bed and sat on it. "Hi," she said, smiling.

"Hi," Lucas said. His voice was so hoarse, it was barely recognizable.

Jamie sighed with relief and leaned her head gently on his chest. "It's so good to hear your voice," she said.

"A bit of it, anyway; you too," Lucas said, between breathing into the mask.

"Silly, you've heard mine from the start," Jamie teased him.

Lucas smiled the first real smile he had smiled in days. "It's not the same. It takes two to whisper quietly."

"It's so good to see you smile," Jamie said, smiling at him.

Lucas smiled again. "You too," he said lovingly.

Jamie smiled again. "Merry Christmas, sweetie," she said.

"Merry Christmas, dear," Lucas said. "Go get something to eat. I'll be here when you get back."

Jamie smiled at his sense of humor. "I already did, before you woke up," she said. "Thank you... for not being angry with me... about before."

"Of course," Lucas said. "I couldn't possibly be."

Jamie noticed how tired he looked. "If you're tired, sleep, honey," she said. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"All right," Lucas said. "This morphine makes me so hot and tired, as if hospitals aren't already uncomfortable enough."

Jamie nodded. "It's OK," she said, pushing his hair back away from his eyes. "Sleep, sweetie."

Lucas smiled and laid his head to the side and drifted off to sleep after pressing twice on his morphine button.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Jamie went down to the cafeteria to get some lunch for herself, since Lucas was comfortable and eating, and saw Lu was there.<p>

"Hey, Lu, what are you doing here on Christmas Day?" Jamie asked her.

"I wanted to check on some patients," Lu said. "Even doctors don't get holidays off, really. But I'll be going home at lunch to spent the rest of the day with my family."

"That's nice," Jamie said, smiling.

"How are you doing, Jamie, feeling OK?" Lu asked.

Jamie nodded. "I'm alright."

"How's Lucas?" Lu asked.

"He's fine," Jamie said. "The nurses brought him lunch, so he insisted I go get some, too."

Lu nodded. "Good for him," she said. "Andy told me he's breathing on his own."

"Yep," Jamie said shortly.

"Good," Lu said. "That's definitely improvement." She noticed Jamie was not quite looking at her while they talked. "Is something wrong, Jamie?"

Jamie bit her lip and shook her head. She couldn't bring herself to speak.

Lu suspected she was holding back more tears. She thought she knew what was going through Jamie's mind, so she voiced the hunch.

"You still have other options; adoption, surrogacy."

Jamie's lip quivered, then she flung her arms around Lu's shoulders and clung on, sobbing bitterly. Lu, alarmed but unsurprised, rubbed her back comfortingly until her sobs quieted.

"I'm sorry," Jamie whispered to Lu.

"Don't be," Lu said. "You're allowed to cry. You don't have to be strong all the time."

"That's what Lucas said. I know, but... I just don't know how I'm going to get through the next few days. I haven't had any choice, but to put off funeral arrangements, because I've been with Lucas... and well, now I have to do it, since he's getting better," Jamie said.

Lu nodded. "If we can do anything, let us know," she said.

"What more can you do?" Jamie asked. "You saved his life and mine. You've done more than I could ever ask for. "Will you come to the funeral?"

"Of course we will," Lu said. "It's only right that we do."

"Thank you," Jamie said.

"Would you like to join me and my family for Christmas tonight?" Lu asked Jamie.

"Oh, Lu... Thank you, but I— I couldn't," Jamie said. "You've had enough of a time lately, with us. Go be with your family. You don't need me there. And I don't think I could leave Lucas."

But Lu wouldn't stand for this, Jamie believing she was a burden to Lu. "Jamie, do not think for one second that you are, in any way, a burden to me," Lu said firmly. "If you do think that, you're being ridiculous, because you're _not _a burden to me, or anyone else in this hospital. We're all family here. I don't want you or Lucas to be alone tonight. It's Christmas."

Jamie sighed.

"If you are not comfortable joining us," Lu said, "then I'm going to bring Christmas to you."

"What? What do you mean?" Jamie asked.

"I'll bring Marc and Jonas, and we'll all have Christmas together— the three of us, you, Lucas, Peter, Lana, Kayla, Andy, her girls, everyone," Lu said.

"Oh, Lu, really, are you sure?" Jamie asked.

"Absolutely," Lu said. "And you'll get to meet Andy's daughters, Jesse and Lizzie."

Jamie smiled. "Thank you, Lu," she said. "That's really great of you."

Lu smiled. Jamie turned and began to walk away.

"You'll make a great mother someday, you know," Lu called after her.

Jamie turned back around. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well," Lu said, smiling, "whatever way it happens, and I have faith it will, if you show your baby any of that love and devotion you show Lucas, you will have one happy baby on your hands. And especially if you choose surrogacy and have the surrogate deliver here, that baby will probably be the most spoiled baby in this entire hospital."

"Oh," Jamie said, blushing and smiling. "Thanks, Lu."

"Are you gonna be OK now?" Lu asked. "I mean, I know you don't feel like it right now, but you won't feel this bad forever."

Jamie nodded. "I think so."

Lu nodded. "Good," she said. "I'm here, if you need to talk."

"Thank you," Jamie said. "You know, I've never felt so safe in a hospital before. Everything is different here."

Lu smiled. "It is," she said. "That's what I love about here. We're all family. Everything is more personal. We don't just kick patients out, like they are the next best thing, like some hospitals do. We actually care; it's not all about the money."

Jamie nodded.

"You know, one thing you should do," Lu said, "is come to a morning chat room."

Jamie nodded. "I should," she agreed. "Thanks, Lu, I will do that."

"Good," Lu said, smiling. "I'll see you there next week, then."

"You will," Jamie promised.

Lu smiled, then walked away.

* * *

><p>Later that evening, the ICU was crowded, as everyone gathered with Jamie and Lucas to celebrate Christmas together. Everyone exchanged gifts, until last to exchange was from Abby to Jamie.<p>

When Jamie saw the curious look on Abby's face, she got suspicious. "Abby, what is it?"

"Well, Jamie... Lu and I worked together to give a surprise to both you and Lucas," Abby said slowly.

Jamie and Lucas looked at each other, then Jamie narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her sister. "What is it?" she asked.

"Well... it can't be wrapped and... it doesn't come in a box," said Abby.

"Well, _technically_, it sort of can," Lu whispered to Andy, who burst into laughter.

Jamie looked very confused. Obviously, she was not in on the doctors' joke. "Wait, what's going on? What am I missing?"

"Promise me you won't be mad?" Abby asked her sister.

Jamie rolled her eyes. "Abby, we're not six anymore. Come on, tell me," she insisted.

Abby, barely holding back a huge grin, glanced at Lu, who was smiling away, then Abby looked her sister straight in the eye.

"As your next-of-kin after Lucas, and I knew how much you wanted a child... I asked Lu to freeze your eggs."

Both Jamie's and Lucas' mouths fell open in shock. "What?" Jamie stammered. "You did? When?"

Abby nodded. "We did the freezing process while you were in surgery for the hemorrhage, before you had the hysterectomy."

Lu chimed in, stepping forward. "Abby and I talked it over, and we agreed that, as Abby was next-of-kin in Lucas' place, the benefits outweighed the risks, so we just went for it."

"How many did you freeze?" Lucas asked.

"Well, since not all of the eggs will survive either the freezing or the implantation process, we froze ten. We will only implant two at a time at the most, especially if they both take. It's unnecessary to implant more than two at a time into Abby, being as she's healthy and young and so are you and Lucas."

After taking this all in, Jamie nodded. "Wow. OK," she said.

"Are you angry?" Abby asked.

"No," Jamie said, shaking her head. "I'm just shocked." She took her sister's hand. "Thank you."

Abby smiled, then as tears welled up in Jamie's eyes, she gently wiped them away and said, "I love you, sis."

"I love you, too," Jamie said, crying with joy.

"Are you giving consent, then, Jamie, Lucas?" Lu asked.

"Of course," Jamie and Lucas said together.

"Alright. We'll schedule Abby for the procedure in a few weeks, then," said Lu.

"OK. Thank you, Lu," said Jamie.

"You're welcome, Jamie," Lu said, smiling.

* * *

><p>Over the next couple months, things finally started looking up for Jamie and Lucas. After another week in the hospital, Lucas had been released. Because his fractured pelvis had set so well naturally, he was able to start therapy right away. With a lot of hard work, he was making great strides and gaining strength every day. So, too, was Jamie.<p>

One difficult situation they couldn't avoid, however, was the subject of Chloe's funeral. The funeral had been put off for several weeks, to allow both Lucas and Jamie time to physically heal from their injuries. But now it was mid-April and the time had come for them to say goodbye to their little girl. The emotional wounds would take much longer to close and heal.

Lucas leaned against the door frame, watching Jamie move around the kitchen, putting dishes away, organizing trays of food and drink, and keeping music going. She was not alone in making the arrangements— Abby, Jamie's and Lucas' parents, and the entire Rittenhouse staff were helping out— but Lucas could tell she was in her own little world.

Jamie's hands shook and she dropped the pitcher of water she had been holding. It shattered on the floor and she began to cry.

Lucas went over to his wife and took her into his arms. She sank to the floor and he went down with her and, with almost complete disregard of the broken glass, they held each other close, letting their grief consume them for a moment.

"It's OK, sweetie," Lucas said softly.

"No... it's not," Jamie whispered. "I don't know if I can make it through today."

"Why not, honey?"

"Burying her makes it real. It means she's really gone and everything really happened." Jamie began sobbing hard into her husband's loving arms. "And I can't escape and make it go away. And now the pitcher is broken and it's my fault."

"Honey, it's just water. We'll clean it up," said Lucas.

"No, it's not just water, Lucas!" Jamie cried, her voice rising. "It was my grandmother's pitcher, which she gave to me as an heirloom, and I can't fix it. It's junk now. It's trash. It's gone."

Lucas, hearing the pain and grief in his wife's voice, looked down at her. He held her close to him, wishing he could take away her every pain.

"It will get better, babe," he said. "It just takes time. You have so many people who are here for you. You are not alone in this. Whatever you need, I'm here."

Jamie looked up at him. "What about you?"

"Ah, I would say 'don't worry about me,' but I know you won't believe me," said Lucas. Jamie made an exasperated noise, so Lucas went on. "So just consider me the same way I'm considering you now."

Jamie nodded and leaned heavily against her husband's strong frame. Lucas met Jamie's forehead with his own and they stood there in silence, looking into each other's eyes.

"I love you," Lucas whispered, so only Jamie could hear.

"I love you, too," Jamie whispered back, just as quietly.

"Are you OK now?" Lucas asked her.

Jamie nodded. "Yeah, I'm alright now," she said.

"Good," Lucas said, smiling.

* * *

><p>Chloe's funeral went by in a blur. It was outside on a beautiful spring April day. A gentle warm breeze blew and there were little puffy clouds scattered throughout the robin's egg blue sky. Jamie stood next to Lucas and Abby, crying uncontrollably. Everyone stood and listened to the priest. When he was finished, everyone dispersed.<p>

Lucas took Jamie's hand and they stepped forward toward the headstone. Jamie knelt down and ran her hands over the headstone engraving. Then she kissed her hands and pressed them against the headstone, before whispering goodbye.

"Mommy loves you, baby girl. You go be an angel now."

Jamie looked up into the eyes of her beloved husband and sister, then they walked away as one, holding each other up, holding each other together.

* * *

><p><em>Probably one more chapter, my lovelies. I promise it will be much happier. Stay with me. Thanks for reading. Please review!<em>


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